Up from Down

Rob just being Rob...Wild at Heart is the best way I could describe it. There were so many times i wanted to say something....when he led our kids off the trail (they asked us not to), when he wanted to slide down the snow, when he climbed down to take this pic...but I just thought back to reading the book Wild at Heart...and I knew that this is who he is and I need to let him be that:) Plus it is those things that balance me out, push me, and entice me...Love him!
Us as we started getting into the rocks up past the tree line

I am just standing on a rock...reaching up into the vast openness....
You might think Rob is doing the same, but do not be mistaken...he is just peeing no-handed!
I actually love bus rides...just stake claim on a spot in the aisle and go to sleep til the next stop...get out, go to the bathroom and repeat. I think on the way out there I was awake for like 15 minutes up until the last hour. You have to be awake to go through the Rockies...BEAUTIFUL!
Rob had tons of fun playing dodge ball with these guys, and he has the war wounds, bruises, and hickies to prove it!
Right in front of Bear lake before our climb up the peak...you can kind of see it in the background, it is the peak that is kind of whited out by the lighting. This is at 6am, but I was happy this morning...it was breathtaking! This picture of the girls and i is with Alli Rogers...she is amazing! Check her out at http://www.allirogers.com/ you can download a lot of her music for free right now!

Rob got a henna tattoo on his arm...yeah, wow!

Where to even start....summer has been crazy! Just told a friend today that I don't know up from down anymore ;) I remember saying earlier this spring that I was going to try to maintain some sense of stability for the girls by staying at the lake for the chunk of the summer that Rob, and I for a week, were moving all around. And I think I managed it a little bit, but I think whenever you are out of your environment for any chunk of time it is hard and you get thrown off a little.

So we finally made it home last night, granted it was 10:30pm already...and we spent most of the day today running around the house naked, WAIT! the girls, not Rob and I...rediscovering all our old toys, laying on the living room floor, and just "chasing" around the loop in the kitchen in living room. We got to know OC again, went to church to say "Hi", went to Chinese for lunch (bc we hadn't bought groceries before our Wal-Mart run tonight in 4ever!), got 99c movies, and took AWESOME naps!

The crazy part of all of this is we are still not going to be home a weekend all month! Usually you are not looking forward to fall and everything starting up again, but I am! I want schedule and routine, any small sense of normalcy I can invite into my life! I want to know what day of the week it is and maybe even the date if someone asks me ;) And yes in a small way I can find and relish in the freedom I have felt this summer...most of the time I was glad I had no cell phone service, no computer...the TV at the lake got one channel and we never watched anything but the weather. We are so dependent on all of those things....I loved that freedom. I never had anywhere to be or anyone to answer to...I didn't have to find times for quiet moments with God b/c God was all around me, and touched me often through the waves and the wind. Not to mention that I was single parenting for a chunk of time so we talked every hour on the hour most days ;)

Anyway, here are some pics...there are so many so just chose a few from the last times at the lake as well as RMH (we were there the last week of July). We climbed Hallet's Peak...it was awesome! Definitely the highlight of the whole trip!

Fake Reality?

Some of you may wonder about the title of this post, so let me explain. . . If you 've been keeping up with our blogs at all you will understand that we're in a crazy season of life with me (Rob) entering back into the academic world at Bethel Seminary. Its distance learning for the most part except for twice a year (February and July) I have to come on campus for 2 weeks of intensives. Each week covers 1 class in that term/quarter.

So I am in the midst of a fake reality as I like to call it because it is definitely happening, but this isn't my "normal" day to day reality where I get to wake up next to Erin and usually Gracie as well! :) For the next 5 years I'll be thrown into this fake reality for roughly a month each year, which is definitely going to be hard based on my first experience with intensives.

The great thing at least is that we live close enough that it is possible to see the family on the weekend. So this last Friday I couldn't wait to get out of the city and trek across highway 12 to the cabin to see my girls. We had a blast hanging out, playing games, taking naps, and playing in the lake!

It was especially hard leaving Gracie and Karys on Sunday night because I knew I wouldn't seem them for over a week and a half because Erin and I will be heading to Estes Park, CO for a high school convention with students this Friday/Saturday until late next Wednesday. Its great being a husband and a father, but moments like those when I first left for intensives and then this past Sunday almost tear your heart out. While leaving the lake I was reminded that it is a good thing that I struggle with this and feel so burdened with leaving my girls- all 3 of them, because if I didn't, something would definitely be awry.

Its great to be loved and to be able to love in return!

Continually Humbled

I just came out of a short worship time with a group of folks attending Bethel Seminary intensives for 2 weeks. As we were singing the lyrics below from Matt Redman, I couldn't help but almost weep about the truth in these words in the midst of everything we experience- through the highs and the lows, because God never lets go.

"You Never Let Go"
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
Whom then shall I fear

Oh no You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no You never let go
In ev'ry high and ev'ry low
Oh no You never let go
Lord You never let go of me

Even though I walk
Through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught
In the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back I know You are near

And I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know
You here on the earth

Oh no You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no You never let go
In ev'ry high and ev'ry low
Oh no You never let go
Lord You never let go of me
You keep on runnin' and You never let go
Singin'

Yes I can see a light
That is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You
Still I will praise You

*This song also hit a special chord in my heart in light of the course I'm currently taking this week- Global and Contextual Ministry- basically how to do ministry across all cultures. Very refreshing to know that God is in control again! It's by Ben Fielding and Reuben Morgan
"Mighty To Save"
Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light
And let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus
Shine your light
And let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen King

Miss you, Daddy...

We spent the last after noon that Rob was working making Daddy a sidewalk picture. chalk has been another big saving grace for us this summer...again especially for Gracie, she just really likes the art stuff and expressing herself like that. Karys is harder to keep focused for that amound of time ;) Karys says the cutest thing though when she says miss you to some one...there is such an emphasis on the you that it comes out in the cutest way..."Miss you, Daddy!" We had a tearful goodbye that afternoon, but the girls did a great job of giving great kisses and hugs and waves from the driveway Gracie even shouted out "Have a good trip!" So cute. Yet I think it is when they say some of those cute things that I have the hardest time. Now I am hearing "Where is daddy at" Is he ever coming home? "Where is daddy's car, its not here?" tough stuff....
My need to feel loved and needed though are definitely being met. Look at this pic above, this is the night Rob left and I was in the middle of the two til I got up to take a picture. We were nice and "Comfty" to say the least. They want me to do everything for them and get nervous when I leave the room (which I don't do very often for fear that they might really hurt each other!) Hard at times, but nice to know that I can provide them with that sense of security. Oh and Karys did get moved to her own bed later that night bc you can tell she is used to owning her own crib ;)
This last picture is the pizookie I made myself. I wanted to wallow in self pity for just a little bit, thought it would make me feel better to eat this while watching a chick flick....I don't know that it did really at all. But I had a good talk with God later that night....and despite the difficulty of all of this, He is gonna really work through this! He has a plan and I know that the growth that is going to come out of all of this is going to be so God glorifying! and it is totally preparation for the journey that we continue to walk on daily, whether there will be a turn in the road, a new route or just changing times....I am walking with Jesus, being held by Jesus actually, and putting my trust in Him knowing that my family is in His loving and warm and safe embrace!

Love my husband tons! Time apart just gives you the chance to really evaluate what you have and how much you miss it when it isn't there...I am so richly blessed!

Secrets...

One more post for today before I am computerless again for a while....

So every night one of us lays with Gracie, most of these nights it is me;) and while we are at the lake we started telling each other secrets before we go to sleep. It is the cutest thing ever! I just love remincing through the day and hearing what she remembers about it and hearing what she loved about it. I will give you an example dialogue of our secret telling tonight...but DON't TELL!

Mom: "I love you in the morning, I love it when we catch fireflies together, I love it when we go swimming and you blow bubbles, I love it when we eat pizza, I love it when you laugh..."

Gracie: "I love it when you hold me, I love it when we swim, I love my bed, I love the park.....oh and I love you in the morning"

SO CUTE!!! I LOVE IT!

The Hunt for Flash

We have had so much fun the past two evenings searching for fireflies in the front yard. We have gone to the pool the past two afternoons so the girls have taken late naps and woken up late. It has been too dark to go the the park b4 bed but perfect for catching the flies! At first Rob was just catching them and giving them to the girls and I to put in the box, but by the end of tonight we were all catching them and touching them! The girls loved it! Rob asked Karys what the first bug we caught's name should be and she replied with the original response of Kate...the name of every baby we have! But Rob and Gracie decided that it should be Flash. He asked me tonight too if I had ever done this b4 and I can honestly say that I don't have any memories of doing it as a kid...I loved it! I touched bugs and loved it! The pic of me though doesn't really portray that though I think I was making a face more at Rob than at the fact I had a bug in my hands....

Karys liked to imitate how the bugs would fly by flapping her wings too...or her hands crazily!Gracie was the keeper of the bugs...she was in charge of putting the bugs in and making sure none got out...

Karys would actually take them from Rob or I and put them in the box herself

Yeah like I said...I wasn't grossed out at all! I don't know what the face is all about?We would try to carefully hand the flies to Karys....sometimes they would just, "Fly mom...fly fly fly!"

So much crazy fun! Easy entertainment and then ready to go in and go to bed! Well not quite ;)Letting them all go...we don't keep anything bc we need to make sure they can "go home". Even at the lake, we let all the creatures we find go so they can find thier mommies!

Sweet Chickies and Pool Rats

These are my sweet little chickies standing by the wild flowers we have in our back yard. They have to be wild b/c I didn't plant them and I haven't managed to kill them yet. So it is all God baby....our little devotional we read says he cares for the wild flowers and takes care of them, and in the same way he cares for us and takes care of us too!
Both of the girls loved trying to drink the water coming out of these things. Good thing is it is not chlorinated....also means though it is not heated either. Today that didn't matter though-it was like 96 out!
I just love watching them play together! Gracie always wants to show Karys something or have her do something first so she can see if she then wants to do it! Karys is always making her own way, quite the fiesty thing she is. Definitely can see having my work cut out with her;)
So Rob thought Karys would "love it" to stand under these big cups and have freezing cold water dumped out onto the two of them.....
My bet was that she was going to not love it so much that it was going to make her cry, and I told him it might not be the best idea....

I might have been right....She recovered quickly though and was right back in the water;)Karys is such a little fish....a little too brave when it comes to walking in up to her upper chest with no one next to her, and very brave when it comes to jumping off the side to Rob or I and going all the way under water!Gracie loves the water too and wants so badly to go on the other side of the rope...I told her though that she has to be able to go under water herself and swim too. So she spends a lot of her time blowing bubbles and working on her arms. She is not so keen at all about going under. After she blows bubbles so wants to get out and wipe her face off. Shouldn't have offered a towel for her eyes back in the bath days!