Fake Reality?

Some of you may wonder about the title of this post, so let me explain. . . If you 've been keeping up with our blogs at all you will understand that we're in a crazy season of life with me (Rob) entering back into the academic world at Bethel Seminary. Its distance learning for the most part except for twice a year (February and July) I have to come on campus for 2 weeks of intensives. Each week covers 1 class in that term/quarter.

So I am in the midst of a fake reality as I like to call it because it is definitely happening, but this isn't my "normal" day to day reality where I get to wake up next to Erin and usually Gracie as well! :) For the next 5 years I'll be thrown into this fake reality for roughly a month each year, which is definitely going to be hard based on my first experience with intensives.

The great thing at least is that we live close enough that it is possible to see the family on the weekend. So this last Friday I couldn't wait to get out of the city and trek across highway 12 to the cabin to see my girls. We had a blast hanging out, playing games, taking naps, and playing in the lake!

It was especially hard leaving Gracie and Karys on Sunday night because I knew I wouldn't seem them for over a week and a half because Erin and I will be heading to Estes Park, CO for a high school convention with students this Friday/Saturday until late next Wednesday. Its great being a husband and a father, but moments like those when I first left for intensives and then this past Sunday almost tear your heart out. While leaving the lake I was reminded that it is a good thing that I struggle with this and feel so burdened with leaving my girls- all 3 of them, because if I didn't, something would definitely be awry.

Its great to be loved and to be able to love in return!

Continually Humbled

I just came out of a short worship time with a group of folks attending Bethel Seminary intensives for 2 weeks. As we were singing the lyrics below from Matt Redman, I couldn't help but almost weep about the truth in these words in the midst of everything we experience- through the highs and the lows, because God never lets go.

"You Never Let Go"
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
Whom then shall I fear

Oh no You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no You never let go
In ev'ry high and ev'ry low
Oh no You never let go
Lord You never let go of me

Even though I walk
Through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught
In the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back I know You are near

And I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know
You here on the earth

Oh no You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no You never let go
In ev'ry high and ev'ry low
Oh no You never let go
Lord You never let go of me
You keep on runnin' and You never let go
Singin'

Yes I can see a light
That is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You
Still I will praise You

*This song also hit a special chord in my heart in light of the course I'm currently taking this week- Global and Contextual Ministry- basically how to do ministry across all cultures. Very refreshing to know that God is in control again! It's by Ben Fielding and Reuben Morgan
"Mighty To Save"
Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine your light
And let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen King
Jesus
Shine your light
And let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory
Of the risen King

Miss you, Daddy...

We spent the last after noon that Rob was working making Daddy a sidewalk picture. chalk has been another big saving grace for us this summer...again especially for Gracie, she just really likes the art stuff and expressing herself like that. Karys is harder to keep focused for that amound of time ;) Karys says the cutest thing though when she says miss you to some one...there is such an emphasis on the you that it comes out in the cutest way..."Miss you, Daddy!" We had a tearful goodbye that afternoon, but the girls did a great job of giving great kisses and hugs and waves from the driveway Gracie even shouted out "Have a good trip!" So cute. Yet I think it is when they say some of those cute things that I have the hardest time. Now I am hearing "Where is daddy at" Is he ever coming home? "Where is daddy's car, its not here?" tough stuff....
My need to feel loved and needed though are definitely being met. Look at this pic above, this is the night Rob left and I was in the middle of the two til I got up to take a picture. We were nice and "Comfty" to say the least. They want me to do everything for them and get nervous when I leave the room (which I don't do very often for fear that they might really hurt each other!) Hard at times, but nice to know that I can provide them with that sense of security. Oh and Karys did get moved to her own bed later that night bc you can tell she is used to owning her own crib ;)
This last picture is the pizookie I made myself. I wanted to wallow in self pity for just a little bit, thought it would make me feel better to eat this while watching a chick flick....I don't know that it did really at all. But I had a good talk with God later that night....and despite the difficulty of all of this, He is gonna really work through this! He has a plan and I know that the growth that is going to come out of all of this is going to be so God glorifying! and it is totally preparation for the journey that we continue to walk on daily, whether there will be a turn in the road, a new route or just changing times....I am walking with Jesus, being held by Jesus actually, and putting my trust in Him knowing that my family is in His loving and warm and safe embrace!

Love my husband tons! Time apart just gives you the chance to really evaluate what you have and how much you miss it when it isn't there...I am so richly blessed!

Secrets...

One more post for today before I am computerless again for a while....

So every night one of us lays with Gracie, most of these nights it is me;) and while we are at the lake we started telling each other secrets before we go to sleep. It is the cutest thing ever! I just love remincing through the day and hearing what she remembers about it and hearing what she loved about it. I will give you an example dialogue of our secret telling tonight...but DON't TELL!

Mom: "I love you in the morning, I love it when we catch fireflies together, I love it when we go swimming and you blow bubbles, I love it when we eat pizza, I love it when you laugh..."

Gracie: "I love it when you hold me, I love it when we swim, I love my bed, I love the park.....oh and I love you in the morning"

SO CUTE!!! I LOVE IT!

The Hunt for Flash

We have had so much fun the past two evenings searching for fireflies in the front yard. We have gone to the pool the past two afternoons so the girls have taken late naps and woken up late. It has been too dark to go the the park b4 bed but perfect for catching the flies! At first Rob was just catching them and giving them to the girls and I to put in the box, but by the end of tonight we were all catching them and touching them! The girls loved it! Rob asked Karys what the first bug we caught's name should be and she replied with the original response of Kate...the name of every baby we have! But Rob and Gracie decided that it should be Flash. He asked me tonight too if I had ever done this b4 and I can honestly say that I don't have any memories of doing it as a kid...I loved it! I touched bugs and loved it! The pic of me though doesn't really portray that though I think I was making a face more at Rob than at the fact I had a bug in my hands....

Karys liked to imitate how the bugs would fly by flapping her wings too...or her hands crazily!Gracie was the keeper of the bugs...she was in charge of putting the bugs in and making sure none got out...

Karys would actually take them from Rob or I and put them in the box herself

Yeah like I said...I wasn't grossed out at all! I don't know what the face is all about?We would try to carefully hand the flies to Karys....sometimes they would just, "Fly mom...fly fly fly!"

So much crazy fun! Easy entertainment and then ready to go in and go to bed! Well not quite ;)Letting them all go...we don't keep anything bc we need to make sure they can "go home". Even at the lake, we let all the creatures we find go so they can find thier mommies!

Sweet Chickies and Pool Rats

These are my sweet little chickies standing by the wild flowers we have in our back yard. They have to be wild b/c I didn't plant them and I haven't managed to kill them yet. So it is all God baby....our little devotional we read says he cares for the wild flowers and takes care of them, and in the same way he cares for us and takes care of us too!
Both of the girls loved trying to drink the water coming out of these things. Good thing is it is not chlorinated....also means though it is not heated either. Today that didn't matter though-it was like 96 out!
I just love watching them play together! Gracie always wants to show Karys something or have her do something first so she can see if she then wants to do it! Karys is always making her own way, quite the fiesty thing she is. Definitely can see having my work cut out with her;)
So Rob thought Karys would "love it" to stand under these big cups and have freezing cold water dumped out onto the two of them.....
My bet was that she was going to not love it so much that it was going to make her cry, and I told him it might not be the best idea....

I might have been right....She recovered quickly though and was right back in the water;)Karys is such a little fish....a little too brave when it comes to walking in up to her upper chest with no one next to her, and very brave when it comes to jumping off the side to Rob or I and going all the way under water!Gracie loves the water too and wants so badly to go on the other side of the rope...I told her though that she has to be able to go under water herself and swim too. So she spends a lot of her time blowing bubbles and working on her arms. She is not so keen at all about going under. After she blows bubbles so wants to get out and wipe her face off. Shouldn't have offered a towel for her eyes back in the bath days!

Been a while....

So it has definitely been a while since we have updated our blog. We haven't exactly been around to have acces to the internet and even good cell phone service in case any of you have been trying to get a hold of us. Rob headed off to Ottumwa, IA the end of June with a group of Jr highers on a sevice trip and when he did the girls and I headed off to the lake. It was so nice bc we drove up with Sarah and Leah, Megan came on Friday and had the whole next week off, Rob came to meet us on Tues, and Gma and Gpa came up Wed with "a different Megan". So there was a full house for the 4th of July and lots of ppl around at the lake. As the time drew nearer for Rob to leave the lake, it began to sink in how long it would be until I saw him again. I already was struggling with things...and yeah we decided to come back to Orange City for the week to spend some more time with him.

He leaves tomorrow evening for Bethel for two weeks as he begins the first of his intensives. Part of this program requires that ou go to campus two weeks in July and two weeks in Feb for intensive classes. It is hard stuff being apart. I think it is easier for me to leave the girls almost than to have him gone....I think that is ok isn't it? Anyway, I am working on trying to figure it out now...it is a 5 year program so this is going to happen 2x/year for the next 5 I better learn to deal. I think the hardest part of last week is that I control the environment I am in so much, I think just to try to keep things together-a coping mechanism maybe. And then when he comes back into that environment it shakes the way I do things and I don't cope as well. But the breakdown has happened....I reached a point where I didn't think I could do it. And yeah, we are pushing through now and I think I can. I don't want it to get so much easier I don't miss hime b/c yeah that would mean there are problems, but I am praying it does get easier and we figure out how to make it work.

Anyway, the lake has been our home away from home this summer and the girls are loving it. We found cat in the kitchen one evening when we left the door open, so they were able to adopt that and it came around a lot during our stay. They named him "Blues" and loved to play with him and feed him. He especially kept coming back after Grandma Lois gave him pork loin one night for supper! There was lots of encouragement from the fam for us to bring him home to OC at the end of the summer....but we later came to find out that he does have a home and owners who live a few cabins down! Sounds like Rob has agreed to a kitty though...told the girls they could get one this fall after Gracie starts school...I know you heard me right I said school!!!!!! Plz lets not talk about it right now.... ;)

Gracie's reaction to finding a kitty under the table.....

They thought it was the funniest thing ever....later when Meg came back from her run they just died laughing when the told her about it! Just kept saying "Oh my goodness, a kitty was in the house!" and covering thier little mouths with thier hands!

Here they are on our last day feeding the kitty dog food! Of course they couldn't let him be long enough to be able to eat it ;)

The water hasn't been the warmest so it has been hard to get the girls in swimming. We have loved the paddle boat, playing on the dock and for Karys riding the tube.Gracie was content helping daddy make sure his hair got clean and getting all the soap out, from up on the dock!Karys has really been learning this summer, she loves to sing her ABC's and is getting so good at her colors. She was practicing with the UNO cards!Both girls are such helpers....and one of thier FAV things is washing dishes....I know this would be thier father's genes. They made such a good team this night while Gracie washed and Karys rinsed everything off.Megan is working at the Bible camp just down the road from the cabin, so we were able to head over there for Friends and Family weekend. The weather wasn't the greatest so it was just nice to get out and go see where she is at for the summer. We also got some free meals too!

All of us in front of the fireplace in the Lodge...Me, Gracie, Grandma Lois, Megan, Leah, Sarah, and Karys.We had quite the walk trying to avoid mudpuddles! This was just too cute of a scene to pass up! Grandma and Megan even swang Karys a couple of times!The lake has been a great place for Karys to potty train. If she has an accident we are usually outside and can just rinse her in the lake. She has actually done amazingly well but is a little to used to being able to just pee in the grass! She loves Gma sally's potty seat though. You can usually always get her to go on the "handles"one.I may have never been a boy scout but I did make this fire myself! The girls loved eating and making the smores.Meg had a lot of marshmallow casualties into the fire but was so excited when she got the PERFECT one!

Gracie LOVES to color! One day she wouldn't even get the rest of her swimming suit on bc she was too busy with her picture! Oh well it is the lake right?

Rob picked these t-shirts up for the girls in ottumwa at a walgreens I think. THey are so cute! They have unbrella strollers on them and underneath the stroller it says, 'That's how I roll"

Love this pic of Sarah and Leah! Can't believe how fast she is growing and just loves to be outside and down by the water!

So Karys loves riding on the tube....Gracie kind of had an incident when we were up the last time. The front of the tube dipped down in the water and she and I ended up falling off the back. It was even earlier in June then and the water was FREEZING! Since then she talks about it and laughs but is yet to get back on it....we finally got her in the paddle boat and to go in Papa's boat and she really likes both of those again (they both took a little convincing after the fall too) so hopefully the tube will come too and she won't be scared for long!

So in the mean time she has been practicing her casting. she loves to sit on the edge of the wall and cast her line (with a little rubber fish on the end) as far as she can out into the water. She is getting REALLY good at it! She loved doing this with the "different" Megan. My sister's best friend Megan came up and surprised her for the weekend! It was so fun to have her around. She just has such a positive energy and is so helpful! Both the girls love her! We do too......This will be my saving grace for the summer! Coloring calms everyone down and keeps us preoccupied for quite a while....when all else fails and even the iPOD songs (Hosanna, How Does she Know, Etc) aren't working....coloring will!