Contentment

I was driving home from my sister's house this morning...way too early might I add! I saw the sunrise...it was AMAZING!!!!! Enough said about that...it started my day off on the right foot.

After seeing it I was drawn into the presence of God, His majesty, His provision, His strength...I just felt warm inside. Life lately has just felt so warm. I love the season that I am in, that we as a family are in...Celebrating wonderful birthdays, having such cutie patooties for kiddos, praying together, good conversations, security, and really just joy...in too many areas to count.

The word "contentment" came into my head and in all honesty alarms started to sound off. I think that is just one of those buzz words I have created for myself. If I get content then something is wrong, I am settling in on a plateau, I am not being all that God has called me to be, I am not taking hold of the future he has for me...

But as I continued to let my thoughts go I realized that the feeling that I was having, the feeling of warmth that overcomes my core...that radiates and flows forth in ways that I know are not of my self...that feeling doesn't come from contentment at all. In fact, it comes from almost the opposite. Those feeling were coming from longing...

I have been longing in so many areas in the past few months...longing in a good way! All which root from my longing to draw close to the heart of God, to hear His voice again like I so clearly once could and know his heartbeat in my life, my marriage and in my family. I have been longing for wholeness...wholeness of heart, wholeness in relationships, wholeness in truth...longing to be rooted in that truth and stand for nothing less, nothing less than the Word of my Saviour that comes with an enveloping love for ALL of his children...

I can almost do nothing but smile this morning...after 4 hours of sleep you really would think otherwise ;) but I am blessed and I am warm b/c I am in accordance with my Abba...that sounds prideful and I am nothing of the sort...I humbly want to claim his work in this season because I know that storms will come and Satan will attack and as little as this may see I will need to look back on this post even to re-ground myself and find my way back to the warmth-like the warm orange sunrise I saw this morning...surrounded in reds and purples...and the good news is the small things will gently return my heart to this place b/c it is never far for those who choose to knock and seek Him

I am just amazed...Rob made the comment when he turned 30 that one f the hardest things for him about reaching a round number is just knowing how many years he has lived and all God has taught him during that time, but also how little he feels like he knows and how much wisdom he wants and needs...it is so true, but I also see it as this...I myself am almost thirty and I love that God has had that long to work on my heart and shape me into who he wants me to be, but I don't have to stress b/c I haven't 'figured it all out' yet. HE ISN'T DONE and PRAISE THE LORD I am still a work in progress!

No matter our age or our place in our walk God longs for us to trust him, in the way Addyson would trust me/Rob to provide, guide, and protect her, because he is not done with us yet and He longs for us to choose to be malleable, adaptable, displacable, and accepting of his love, mercy, grace, and promise.

Thank you God! for the warmth, the longing, and the promise this morning...today I will choose joy!

Mother's Tea and Gracie's Last Day!

I was getting ready to head over to the preschool for the Mother's Tea and Gracie's last day of school, when Addyson went face first over the bottom rail around our high bar chairs. Luckily, Grandma Doreen was right there to grab her leg or she would have been in really bad shape. None the less she still did face plant and managed to get quite the bump right between her eyes. I felt awful, but I had to get going out the door. Grandma provided her with the love and care she needed and she was smiling in her high chair before I even left!I made it to school just in time, the kids were just coming out one by one to get their moms and guide them to their assigned seats. Waiting there for us was a handmade placemat and they gave us BEAUTIFUL teacup necklaces! Then they got up onto the risers and sang some songs for us.Once again, Gracie was pretty excited to be standing on the top of the risers ;) It was so cute b/c they would sing us a song, and then they would come out to us at the tables and bring us different surprises. A kiss and a hug (both chocolate and real ones), colored pictures, and my favorite thing of all...10 Reasons I Love You...this was what I wasn't prepared for. I decided that with your first one you must just actually end up crying more. You go into situations CLUELESS to the emotions you are going to feel...you don't even have a chance to prepare your waterworks defenses and before you know it you are tearing up. Tears of JOY of course! My baby is getting so big and she is definitely aware of my presence in her life. I think I just go day in and day out doing what is best for them (trying anyway ;) and so focusing on them and their needs...I forget that they see that and I am blessed to hear that they recognize it. This is what Gracie's paper for me said...10. I love my Mom because she reads me books.
9. I love my mom because she helps me color.
8. I love my mom because she makes me laugh by tickling me.
7. I love my Mom because she taught me how to walk.
6. I love to hear my Mom sing Jesus Loves Me. (Start the tears...)
5. I love my Mom because she finds time to play with me.
4. I know my Mom cares because she loves me.
3. I know my Mom is smart because she coaches Dordt track. (oh good, a giggle amidst the sniffles!)
2. I love my Mom because she works so hard at cleaning the house.
1. I love my Mom because she's the BEST MOM EVER!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM! Love, Gracie
She is so observant and so aware...and I am so in awe and so blessed. Everything I do as a mom should be worth it. First and foremost b/c I know that being a mom is a blessing and a gift but it is also a calling. A calling that is not always supported by culture and the ways of society but a calling higher than any other. And it is worth it for three reasons in my life...Gracie, Karys, and Addyson. They matter...they matter to me and they matter to God and it is my job to teach them of that love and show it to them. What a GREAT way to spend my morning! Thanks for inviting me, Gracie! I am so PROUD to be your mamma!Gracie with her teacher, Mrs Niezen
And Gracie with Mrs. Blankenspore

Gracie Graduates from PRESCHOOL!

On May 5, Rob and I had our first graduation program for one of our own kiddos. WOW! Can't believe we are the parents of a preschool graduate! Gracie LOVED going to preschool this past year! I cannot believe all of the different ways she has grown, changed and just developed even more aspects of her personality! Covenant Kids was a GREAT fit for her this year! She never wanted to miss a day or stay home, but was always ready to go (although often slow moving in the am) back for another day! The program was a GREAT way to end a FANTASTIC year!It was so fun to see Gracie in this environment. To be singing along with her peers, doing the actions, and smiling and getting into the songs that she especially liked.She even got to stand in the back row of the risers, which she was also very excited about, and be next to her good friend Tyra.They did a really cool song, that was actually Daddy's favorite, where they rang all different colored bells-each with its own pitch-when their corresponding card was held up to the song Away in a Manger...that wasn't the best explanation, but it was cool!One of the bummers for Gracie with the program being at night, was that she was so tired. She did GREAT! But as it went on, the yawns started to come and got closer together and more frequent as the program went on. But she made it and I think had a great time none the less.Wednesday night was a hard night for Daddy to be there; it was the last night of regular year programming for youth group. But he wouldn't have missed it! He went to church and made sure everything was in order and was there just in time to watch Gracie and her class walk into the gym!A kiss for Daddy...Thanks, Daddy for the many a mornings that you brought Gracie to school!Mommy and the proud graduate ;)our attempts at a good family picture...it is challenging for Karys to provide us with one of those most days ;) She is such a goofball!Grandma Doreen was our proud guest of honor! We were so excited to have her there to celebrate Gracie's accomplishment with us! There was just one problem..."Grandma, my mouth is full of cookie...I can't smile!"There we go...that is better! Love you, Grandma!Gracie and her good friend, Tyra Schuiteman...we had some good play dates and car rides this year! What a fun friend to have...we will miss Tyra next year b/c while both girls are going to Kindergarten, Gracie will go to the public school and Tyra will go to the christian school. We will have to do some play dates for sure!Gracie asked me if I would take her picture with Mrs. Starkenburg. She LOVED her teacher! and so did mommy and daddy! She has an amazing gift with these kiddos and is definitely using the gifts God gave her to let that gift and love pour over onto our kiddos!Gracie and Karys with Elena and Anna....can't pass up a picture with more sisters in matching dresses!Gracie and her good buddy Jackson VanDenBosch...these guys also had fun outside of school. On their last playdate they made a bird feeder together and hung it in Jackson's yard.
And finally, Karys and Gracie...Gracie loves to tell Karys of all the things she will get to do next year at Covenant Kids and all the fun she will have! Crazy to think we will be back in the same place next year for another little lady! It has been a great place to be though so for that we are really THANKFUL! GREAT JOB, Gracie! You are growing up so fast...learning so much...and you have a heart the size of Texas! We love you!

The Beginning of Birthday Celebrations...

The night before Gracie's preschool graduation, my parents came over for dinner and to hangout with the girls a little b4 bed time. They were unable to come to the graduation on Wed night and the also wanted to bring Gracie's birthday present over. I think I was more excited for them to bring the present than the girls were...well of course I was b/c they had no clue what was coming and I DID!!! ;)They brought this little log cabin house. They had bought one for my niece for her birthday last year and the girls love playing in it. So when my mom told me that they were coming across the auction again, she asked me if the girls would like it. This is one thing I don't think my dad minded putting together. I couldn't believe how easily it all just snapped together! I really think that this will make for hours of fun even as Addyson starts to get older. Right away they wanted to bring their food and plates out there. I am especially excited b/c with our basement out of commission right now it just really gives them another GREAT place to play!There the are, all smiles in their new HOUSE!Grandma Sally got right in there with them too to show them how to get all set up and how everything works...They LOVED having her "visit" them ;)The girls with Grandma and Papa....so excited!All three girls got a picture with my parentsWe soon had to take a break though and head in for some supper...quickly to be followed by more presents!Gracie and her new sparkle tennies!!! They only fit for like two weeks and then she started complaining they were too tight and asked Karys if she wanted them...please Lord let them be this open to share with each other like this in the years to come!Also got a couple cute pairs of pants and a jumpsuit...Then it was time to do Grandma Sally's hair...this is Karys FAVORITE thing to do! She can put ponytails in her own and other ppl's hair all by herself...self taught!Addyson grabbed a pick and was ready to get on the action too......"Come on guys! Let me brush too!" Maybe next year, Addy girl!The girls had SOOOO much fun doing Grandma's hair...I had fun watching it too! The best part was Grandma asking, "How many more barrettes do you think I need?" We were all laughing SOOOO hard and I know I made and witnessed on my mom the wondrous ugly cry face!
I didn't post all of the pics...but I just had to post a few! My mom is such a GREAT, FUN, AMAZING grandma! Thanks for coming over and for a night of loving my girls well!

Gracie is Toothless =)

When Gracie was a baby, she had a tooth that came in without enamel in it. We had taken her to a pediatric dentist when she was about 3 and they put a sealant over the top to be sure that it didn't start to decay or become infected and do damage to her permanent tooth underneath. At the beginning of May, Gracie bumped her chin and thus her teeth, while jumping on the trampoline. I went to look in her mouth and saw that there was a large bump on the inside of her gums below the tooth. My initial reaction was to panic...I wasn't sure what happened but I thought the "trauma" might have caused the tooth to shift of caused a bruising or...I didn't know. But after contemplating whether or not to call the dentist, Gracie informed me that that bump had been there for quite some time. Oh no, this was definitely not good. I got her in the next day to the dentist in town. He confirmed my fear that it was indeed infected and would need to come out. He suggested that I take her to Sioux Falls to the pediatric dentist. Gracie does great at the dentist, actually she really looks forward to going, and b/c of this the dentist thought is would be best if Gracie didn't associate getting her teeth out with the dentist who did her regular checkups.

So we scheduled the appt and headed up to Sioux Falls. This was a whole new experience for....ME! Don't get me wrong, Gracie was the one getting her teeth out here...but I had to send her back all alone. What?!?! To the dentist? I was used to holding her hand, coaxing her through it, how would she ever do it without me?!?!

Well she did it....and she did GREAT! She didn't even get one tooth pulled she got TWO! She was so brave, I was the only worrying about her ;) The dentist and the hygienist both said that she was amazing ;) They decided to take the tooth next to it out too as long as they were numbing the area. She has a pretty crowded mouth, so to save pulling the tooth later they thought, "Why not now?" Sounds good to me, two in one shot!Gracie showing off her newly, toothless grin!She really didn't complain at all about any pain, but just in case...we wanted to stay on top of it by running some Tylenol through her for the first little bit.She threw it down like a rock star!And was sure to chase it with some nice, cold water ;)Gracie, to this point, had only heard stories about the tooth fairy. But this morning she was soon to find out that the tooth fairy did indeed come to visit her and the tooth fairy is more generous when you have to get the tooth pulled and it doesn't fall out on its own.There she is, finding a nice crisp dollar bill under her pillow...one for each tooth!

She was SOOOO excited! She showed so many ppl her teeth and even took them for show and tell the next day at school!

When we were sitting at the counter the other day, here was the convo that pursued...

G-"Mom, is there really a tooth fairy?'

M-"Well, someone had to have left that money under your pillow, right?"

G-"Who is it?"

M-"I can't tell you til all your teeth fall out..."

G-"Oh, man. That is going to take FOREVER!"

Gracie's "Practice" Day of Kindergarten

The Friday before her final week of preschool, Gracie got the chance to go to Kindergarten for the day. Everyone is assigned a teacher, and you get to go and see what next year will be like. They did a craft, read stories and just went through a small part of the everyday routine (just 8-11am). Gracie had the chance to be in Ms. Mars (soon to be Mrs. Aalbers ;) class. Brittany is the older sister of one of our favorite babysitters, Breanna. Breanna was also around that morning as part of service hours so Gracie was SUPER excited and not hesitant at all to head off to a new place! From everything I gathered she had a GREAT morning. She talked with some of her friends from preschool this year and even met up with some friends from her Crayon Castle days! So crazy to think there will be 4 sections of Kindergarten next year and she will go to school all day everyday! I don't know if mama is ready for this! And I just told myself a month or two ago that this would not be a big deal at all....I might have to change my mind! She is growing up way to fast !
Gracie and Karys outside of the "big" school right after we went to pick Gracie up from Kindergarten!

Gracie's Trip to Seratoma Butterfly House

One of Gracie's final day of preschool was spent on a field trip to the Seratoma Butterfly house in Sioux Falls. Rob was out of town at intensives, so my friend Cora Haverdink was AWESOME enough to volunteer to watch my two younger girls for me so that I could have the opportunity to chaperon the trip! I was so excited! 1-To see Gracie in that environment, how she interacts, the kiddos in the class, etc and 2-She asked me to go and God opened doors and windows to make it work.

I was a little worried as to how the day would go...mostly based on the fact that getting to the point that we were sitting on the bus ready to go was a little rough. We were just so rushed that morning and everyone was moving slower than molasses. Both Karys and Addyson had to be dropped off at different places and I had to have stuff packed for them and their needs for an entire day. The day before, I had been so preoccupied with an opportunity to go to Haiti and how God was going to either open a narrow door or not that I hadn't done any of the packing til that morning so I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I thought I was in the clear when we were finally in the van, but just as we had dropped off Addy and made the run to head for school, Rob called me and told me he needed my passport number for my Haiti trip. I ran home to get the passport, I would text him the info once we were on our way, and then hustled over to school. Once the van was parked, Gracie and I grabbed our things and began to run into school...we were late-what's new?!?! Gracie was SOOO excited for this trip and to get inside....I am sure that is why she didn't see the side view mirror that she slammed into at almost full speed! The one that gave her the goose egg on her head and laid her out flat! Poor girl :( By the time we got inside...no, by the time I got inside-carrying her, the camera bag, my purse, her backpack and our lunch bag-she was still sniffling a little. I held her in the door way while we waited for a few more kiddos to arrive and while she dulled the pain and her excitement bubbled back up again. I finally was at a place where I could set her down and as soon as I did, I gave her a tissue and wiped her hair out of her face, only to discover a wood tick securely attached to her head right in the line of her part. Seriously! Can't this little girl get a break!

Thankfully that would be the last of the dramatic events that would plague us for the day! The hour bus ride to Sioux Falls was plenty of time for us to calm down, settle in, and begin to talk with anticipation about all we were headed off to see!Gracie and Tyra...they were both my seat partners ;) It has been a few years since I had to sit three to a seat!Gracie pretending to be a butterfly at "butterfly school". They broke the class up into the am/pm classes. One class went to school, while the other got to go in and observe the butterflies. The park did a GREAT job with their presentation and just engaging the kiddos on their level!Gracie and I together once we got inside to look at all the butterflies! Gotta love the self portrait! It was so hot in there...Gracie kept telling me how much she was sweating and as you can tell from the pic I definitely had the humid frizz going on with my hair!There were butterflies of all colors...it really was amazing the variety they had there. This place was cool! Gracie even took this picture of this butterfly.A butterfly landed on my sweatshirt, at one point I even had two of them on me at the same time! It was so interesting b/c Gracie's teachers had said to wear bright colors and patterns b/c that would be what they are drawn to and they were mostly landing on the solid dull colors...Gracie loved that a butterfly landed on her mommy!Gracie and some of her friends...Elena, Tyra, Gracie, and Mia...taken on the bridge before leaving the viewing area.After the butterfly house we headed over to the park located in the same area to eat our sack lunches and the kiddos got a chance to play on the playgrounds (yes there were 4 in the same area-every kid's dream ;)I can't believe how much Gracie has just grown and changed over the past year. She swung on three of these bars before asking for help to make it the rest of the way! She is getting to be so strong!Riding on the tire swing with some of her classmatesWe had a good time laughing about swinging in this "baby"swing! I almost couldn't get her out, but they are good swings to practice our pumping...I don't worry about her falling off backwards ;)Taking a little break to eat some of our lunch we had left over! My little lady is growing up so fast!Gracie's class--I had to run up there at one point b/c Stanley, the little boy on the L side of the pic with the grey and black shirt, got his arm stuck in the railing along side where he was standing and couldn't get it out. Baby wipe worked wonders to lube things up ;)Silly Tyra and Gracie on the bus to head home...definitely more awake, energetic and alert than on the way down this morning!
Love this pic of Tyra, Gracie, Jackson and Jackson right before the bus headed back to the OC. What a GREAT field trip! Thanks to her teachers and the kids for a well-planned, well-behaved, exciting yet uneventful day! *smiles*